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The simple answers to me of when to stop giving presents is: 1. When you feel you can't afford to do so anymore. 2. When you feel obligated to give a gift and aren't doing it simply because it makes you happy to do so. 3. When there is never a thank you or even and acknowledgement of the gift. and 4.
Gifts to serve others. In all the stories we shared of adventures and accomplishments the stories we often do not share are the gifts we give to others. It may sound boastful or self-serving but in all the things I have done in this life my greatest value has been when I helped another person.
When I am buying the gifts I think of when I was young. My Mom's mother passed away when I was 5yrs old and my Dad's family hated my Mother so we never got a Christmas gift from her either. We would just sit there and watch her give all the other grandchildren gifts but not me or my sister. I would never want my grandchildren to go through that.
If you want to resolve that unfulfilled love, put a balm on the hurt, and soothe the anger, get thee to Ohio and show your grandkids that they're worth more of an effort to you than a $50 check at Christmas. Re-engage and meet them where they are. Text them, email them, whatever. p.s.
I raised all three of my kids (in their 20s now) to always send a hand-written thank you note for gifts. If the note was going to a grandparent or other geographically distant relative, I told them to write something more than just "Thank you for the gift"; I made sure they included a few details about their school activities, etc.
My family's big holiday event every year is Thanksgiving. I love it. But for Xmas, my son and grandson always come over, for lunch or dinner. I look forward to it. Not a big deal, just the 3 of us enjoying each other's company and exchanging small gifts. This year, grandson may bring his girlfriend, not sure yet.
New Jersey. May 4, 2024. #8. I don't think giving cash is vulgar and I don't think anyone I know would think so. I remember back in the day, besides putting cash in birthday cards, where I come from, people put cash in sympathy cards as well. These days, for birthday and thank you presents, many appreciate a thoughtful gift card.
For the pickled beets. Return them & thank him for being thoughtful. Then explain you don't want them to be wasted since no one in your home will eat them. For the chocolates. If none were eaten. The same thing [return them]but explain you can't eat chocolates. Not easy to turn down nice gestures after the fact.
We stopped giving gifts years ago also but since 1981 I’ve made decorated gingerbreads and made the family cookies every year. My nieces and nephews really like them so it’s been a tradition. They are usually sent via Canada post but since I saw everyone in person they were handed.
I just stumbled across this forum on my cell and I am so happy to find a group like this. Here's an idea for the grown grandchildren that my mother-in-law used to do: give them something special that has been in the family for awhile: i.e. an old knick knack (Hummel, Lladro, etc.), family jewelry, Christmas ornament, etc. The list goes on and on.